we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
