and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
