I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
