M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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