He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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