Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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