the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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