Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Acid is not a monday night drug
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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