Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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