it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
