brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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