But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
