Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
