I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
