You made me cry and you don't even care
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
