I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
