I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
