Only a mothe r could love this liver
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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