The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
