So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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