Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
