don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my being single is dangerous.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
