I'm laying in your front yard are you home
even my farts smell like vagina
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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