Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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