ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
