I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
