Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
