i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize