all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
