yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
