She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
