It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
