I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize