So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize