Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
