pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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