I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize