i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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