pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
pray to the hookup gods
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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