Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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