You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
