Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.

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(319): View more from Iowa

In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic

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(859): View more from Kentucky

She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.

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(420): View more from

Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine

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(425): View more from Washington

Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.

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(254): View more from Texas

Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?

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