My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
