I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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