Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
