I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
