shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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