My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
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