so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
