So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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