i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
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