At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
