If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
