i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
