how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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