His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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