just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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