Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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