SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize