Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
